Hallucination
by AnimeYaoiFangirl100
Summary: "Why don't you look at me?" I dropped my harsh voice, I couldn't use it with Matt, not know,  and I would never want to. "Because you're not real. You're just a hallucination." - You want more? Click it and see what happens. M for some lemony goodness.


**MxM: Hallucination**

**Yes, I am aware that I have many others to do, but this is something that I just HAD to do. The idea just came to me. I am working my ass off to get all of my fics caught up, but some of them I don't have the inspiration for right now. I am doing the best I can to make up for it!**

**The way that I see it is if the inspiration hits, it hits and you can't stop it. That's the way it is with me, anyway. I am currently working to catch up all of my other stories as well as working on 3 other ones at the same time! Get ready for an overload!**

**Matt: Now that she is done ranting she would also like to say that this is dedicated to someone.**

**Anime: Thank you, Matt! This is for jrlrock! Since I can't figure out what to write for your Hetalia fic - which I will figure out! - this belongs to you. That, and after what you said to me about you being forbidden to watch it. You need some MxM in your life! Enjoy!3 **

**Mello: She also wants to say that she doesn't own either of us. The only one she owns is that damn albino.**

**Anime: He is not meaning Near, I don't own him either. He is talking about Hidashi. Now, enjoy reading this!**

* * *

><p>~Matt~<p>

I really needed to stop taking cigarettes from these people.

Normally I would just go to store to get the sticks that fuel my addiction, but as of late I had been going to these people that had a small set-up on the street. They had seemed nice. Over the past couple of weeks I had gone there I talked with them some, and they seemed trustworthy enough.

Shows you how much I knew.

There was something wrong with this bunch that I got. I knew it since the first puff I took out of this pack, but before I knew it I was already half-way through my second stick. Now my head was so foggy I could barely register anything. I felt like I was going in slow motion. Even my thoughts felt like they were in slow motion.

All I really knew was that I was not at home with my games, and I was not in any area that I knew. I had also lost that pack of cigarettes but that was probably for the best.

I kept trying to figure out where I was and how to get home. I figured that all I needed was a good rest to clear my head, that and some pain medication. I was pretty damn sure that I was going to have something close to a hangover once this drug had worn off.

Yes, drug. I was smart enough to know when something had been drugged even if I was having problems thinking. I wasn't third place for nothing.

I ran a hand over my face as I leaned against the alley wall. My head was so messed up that I couldn't see with my goggles on, they were now around my neck, and that is where they would stay until my head cleared enough.

"Hey, boy!" I turned as I heard a voice, it sounded muffled but something told me the person speaking was closer than he sounded. I wasn't even entirely sure that he was talking with to me, but I was going to answer anyway.

"Hmm?" I couldn't even form a coherent word right now. I can't believe that I was stupid enough to actually trust those people. This is why I don't place trust in that many people. When I give them my trust they just throw it back into my face.

"Kid, you okay? You look terrible." The voice said again and all I could really make of the person was that he had short, brown hair. I couldn't really make out anything other than that, and I could see a couple other people behind him.

"What are you talking about, Lucas? Of course he isn't okay. Look at him." Another voice said and I let my eyes flicker towards him. It was another man, one with dirty blonde hair and his eyes stood out bright enough that I could tell they were amber.

"Oh well. The boss told us to find more recruits and he won't be able to fight back at all in this condition." This time the man had white hair that hung in his face. I couldn't tell what his eyes looked like exactly, but they seemed to be a reddish color. I didn't really understand why I couldn't see that much of them.

Oh, the drugs. That's right. Almost forgot about them.

"You're right, Hidashi. Let's get him to the boss." The blonde one spoke again. I was almost to out of it to care what they were talking about, that is until the rational part of my brain broke through the haze and made me realize they were talking about taking _me_ somewhere.

When I felt hands clench around my arms I tried jerking away, but like that one man had said, I wouldn't be able to fight back. I couldn't even try, not in this condition. That Hidashi guy was right, but what I want to know is; _where_ are they taking me.

"Le' go." I said weakly. I was sure that I didn't want to go with them. I think I was sure anyways. I didn't know anymore...

"Hey! Wake up! I'm not carrying your ass!" One of the men grabbing me hissed as I closed my eyes. I needed to rest...

~Mello~

"Where are those fucking idiots?" I hissed at Rod. He had two whores with him, one on each side of him. He always seemed to have them with him and it disgusted me to know end. I wasn't annoyed with that though. I was annoyed that I sent those three idiots out to go find more recruits for the mafia.

We needed more people, this was brought to my attention by Rod. He said that I was a little too trigger happy and if I didn't stop shooting the henchman than I was going to have none. It's not my fault that everyone here is an idiot! If they can't follow the simplest of orders then they deserve to get shot.

"Calm down, they will be here soon with someone." Rod said as he held the girls next to him by their waists. "Let me remind you that this is your fault anyway. I hope that you don't go shooting at them as soon as they come through the door."

"If I do it serves them right!" I growled as I took a piece of chocolate in my mouth and snapped it off. I had to stay here and suffer with idiots, but it was all in my plan to catch Kira. _If only the kids at Wammys could see me now_. I laughed. _If only Matt could see me now..._ That thought made me fall silent. Matt, my best friend, was the one thing that I left behind that I actually cared about. I left him there so that he wouldn't get hurt. _I wish that he couldn't see me now._I shook my head.

"What's on your mind?" Rod asked. I scowled at him.

"If anything was on my mind it wouldn't be your business and I already told you. Those idiots are keeping me waiting."

"What are you talking about, boss?" I scowled at the albino as he made his way into the room. He was annoying but he was smarter than some of the other men here. "We're right here."

"I can see that." I said as I narrowed my eyes at Hidashi. "Did you find some people?"

"Well, we found one, though, right now I think that he is high..."

"You got me a junkie?" I snarled. I wanted my men to have a head on their shoulders, not in the clouds.

"I don't think that he is a junkie.." Hidashi said slowly. He might be hot-headed but he knows not to piss me off, and I was already pissed off. "If he was a junkie then he would be dealing with these drugs better."

I nodded absently. As Hidashi was talking Dean and Lucas had come into the room and Lucas was helping a red-head to support himself. _The color of that hair... It's the same as Matts'._The shock of that thought didn't stop me from shaking it away. Matt was in England, there was no way that he would be here, in LA, in... in my hide-out.

The red-head looked up at me and I tried to suppress a shiver. I was not wrong in my thoughts. That was Matt. There were no doubts in my mind. That red hair, those blue eyes, those goggles that were hanging loosely around his neck...

"Anybody else?" I asked as I tore my gaze away from the red-head.

"No." Hidashi said, no longer acting like he was afraid of me. I had to admit that is one of the only reason's why he is still alive. I liked a challenge and he gave me one. Though the down side was that he reminded me of Near... I growled.

"Why not?" Just thinking of Near got me in an even worse temper. I snapped off another piece of my chocolate as I waited for his answer. I dismissed Dean and Lucas, who had been pushed away by Matt. They had other jobs to do.

"There really wasn't that many people out on the streets that we could get. This kid was the only one and like I said he is acting high. He blacked out when we grabbed him and I told him that I wasn't going to carry his ass."

"Fine." I growled out again, my tone lower than it was originally, making his smug grin drop into a nervous smile. "You will be going out again tomorrow."

"Alright..." The white-haired man grumbled. "I will show this guy to a room, I don't think that he will be able to get himself home for a while. Also, I am not even sure if he is okay with the idea."

I watched as he tugged on Matt's sleeve and started to pull him in the direction of the rooms. Matt just followed, like an obedient puppy. He seemed so out of it. Hidashi was right, he had some sort of drug in his system.

"Don't worry, they will find more people tomorrow." Rod said. "That's one thing that you can say for them. They do get their jobs done."

"That's not the only thing on my mind." I said with a glance at the older man and with another snap of my chocolate bar.

"If you're worrying about that red-head, don't worry. Even if he is a junkie then he will go into withdrawal in a couple days and then he will be doing everything that you tell him to do." _Yet again, that is not what is bothering me._I snapped in my head, but I had to keep my cool.

"I know that." I said. "Now I will deal with my thoughts on my own thank you very much."

"Whatever you say, Mello." Rod said as he shook his head and went back to listening to his whores talk to him.

After a couple of minutes I just stood up and walked off. I needed to get some things out of my head. I was kinda hoping that it wasn't Matt, that it was just someone who looked like him, and had the same taste in clothes... _Oh what am I kidding! It's Matt and I know it._

"What are you doing in here?" I snapped at one of my henchman as I entered the room that I knew Hidashi would have put Matt in. The raven was too close to the red-head for my liking.

"I was, um-" The man stuttered.

"I don't care just get away from him!" I snapped and grabbed the striped shirt that I hadn't seen in years. I pulled him through the door and down the hall until I got to the room the farthest away from all the others. My room. I wasn't going to even bother with an apartment if I could stay here for free.

As soon as I drug Matt through the door, as soon as he saw the bed, he flopped down on it. I looked at the skinny red-head. I never thought that I would see him again, it made me happy that I did, but I never thought that I would see him like this.

I was sure that the drugs in his system were wearing off, or at least starting to. If he had blacked out like Hidashi said he did than the drugs _should _have started to wear off_._I hoped that they were. I needed to talk with Matt. I needed to talk with my Matt.

"Matt?"

"Hmm?"

"Matt, it's me Mello."

"I know." I missed his voice so much, I wanted to see his face but he was faced the other way, with his back towards me. At least he was talking in a coherent manner.

"Why don't you look at me?" I dropped my harsh voice, I couldn't use it with Matt, not know, and I would never want to.

"Because you're not real. You're just a hallucination." I gaped in shock at him, even though he couldn't see it. I couldn't believe that he just said that! Without my permission a small whimper of hurt fled out my lips. I knew that he heard it, fore he shifted uncomfortably. It hurt me so much to hear him call me a hallucination.

"I'm not a hallucination, Mattie..." I said. The realization that he thought I was a hallucination still stung me, but I swallowed back the lump that was growing in my throat. I needed him to look at me. This is the first time in four years that I have seen him, and I didn't want anything to make things worse between us during this meeting. Even though there were already some strikes against that.

"Yes you are..." I flinched as if he had bitten me. Every time he called me one just made it hurt worse. I never thought this would happen, not to me. I shouldn't be breaking, but hearing my best friend say that I wasn't real, just sent me over the edge.

"No I'm not, Matt. Why do you keep saying that I am?"

"A person like you would never come back to a person like me. Therefore there is no possible way that you can be real. You are not real."

"Matt, that hurts when you say that. I _am_ real and I am right here. Why won't you just look at me? If you did you would see that I am real."

"If I looked at you right now... I would only be disappointed when you disappear." I should be happy that he was out of his drug induced haze, or mostly at least, but I was still pissed and sad that he thought I was a hallucination.

"Just _look _at me. Mattie, please. I am real and I am not going to disappear."

"I wish that you would actually say that, but since you aren't real you wouldn't. You're only saying what I want you to say."

"If I am not real then why are you talking to me?"

No answer. Just what I thought was going to happen.

"Answer me."

"Because I can't stand to not answer you. Even if you are not actually here."

"Mattie, please, just _look _at me! I am sick of you saying that I am not here when I am. If you think that I am not real than give me a good enough reason."

"There are multiple reasons for that..." He said in an almost weakened voice. I was looking at him, full of worry about if he actually was okay, and I was also wondering what he was going to say. If his words made any sense at all... "The Mello that I knew would never in a million years say the word "please" and no way in hell would he keep his voice down when talking. He was always shouting. He wouldn't even act nice unless he had to."

"Just because I said the word "please" doesn't mean that I am a hallucination! I am talking gently to you because you are high off your ass on drugs and this is the first time I have seen my best friend in years!" No matter how good I was at containing my emotions I couldn't help the outburst. I had a lot of emotions right now, most of which were from the red-head that some of my men stumbled upon that is my best friend, or, at least, was.

"I don't care what you say. You're just a figment of my imagination. I'm just trying to humor my mind until it stops thinking about the things making me think of you!" His voice was still weakened but at that moment it seemed to get so much emotion around those words. It hurt me to hear it.

"Matt, it's _me_. Get that through your thick skull. I am here and so are you, and you are not going anywhere until you believe me!"

"Of course I won't be going anywhere. You're the hallucination, not me." He muttered.

"I shot down your other reasons why you think I am a hallucination. Give me one more. One more that I _can't _shoot down."

"The real Mello already left me once and he would never come back to _me_ even if he had to." He seemed to tremble slightly as he said these words. It was almost as if they pained him.

"What the hell, Matt! I left you because I had to and I wanted to see you again but I couldn't!" I yelled at him. I knew that I left him, and I did so for a good reason. It pained me but I left him. It pained me to know that he thought I would never want to see him again.

"I don't even know why I am wasting my time... I am arguing with a figment of my own vivid imagination... You left because you wanted to... You left without even a good-bye..."

"I had no choice, Matt!" I said. "I had no choice to leave you and now that I actually found you you're calling me a hallucination! Believe me." I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling desperate. "Please, Mail."

I watched him stiffen at the name. I knew that I was the only one that knew his real name, or that was how it used to be, he could have told someone else in the orphanage, but I figured that he hadn't so he hadn't heard his own name come from someone else in years. I felt another flash of guilt as I thought about how I left him there. Alone.

"Just disappear already..." I heard him murmur and I felt the little pricks of tears stinging my eyes at those words. I knew that I hurt him, and I knew that he was still not thinking clearly, but I was afraid that he actually meant those words. I wasn't sure if I could make it after seeing Matt again, only to find out that he wanted nothing to do with me. It would most likely be the end of the _actual _me.

"No... I am not going anywhere until you see that I am actually here with you." I said simply. I meant every single word. Whether he wanted me here or not, he was going to be stuck with me. Even when he gets into his right mind, if he still doesn't want me here, then as long as he is in LA he is going to be watched by me. I needed to keep him safe.

I caught sight of the milky white skin on his neck. I missed him so much. I was sure that it hurt him when I left, but it hurt me too. I was filled with pain and regret that I left him everyday. I thought that everyone and everything at Wammy's House could burn. Everything but Matt. Matt was my everything. He was then, and he even was now. Even in the weakened state that he was in.

At that moment he bolted into a sitting position. _Okay...either those drugs are wearing off, or they caused his mental state to get whacked out. I hope that it is the first one._He looked around the room wildly. His hair flying back and fourth as he moved his head to get a glimpse at every corner of the room.

"Where am I? What's going on?" He sounded panicked as he spoke, not like the one that I was hearing minutes ago. He must have snapped out of the drugs, or as much as he could. I hope that he is out of that trance like state. I don't think I could take much more of it.

"You're with me, Mattie, and that's where you are going to stay." I said as my composure broke and I all but crushed him in a hug. "Mail, please remember me."

"Me-Mello...?" He said as he turned around, or tried.. I hope that it wasn't just a clear spot. He needed to remember me for the whole time, not just for a moment.

"Matt? Please say that you remember me." I said as I buried my head into his neck.

"Mello..?" He whimpered as he turned around in my arms and latched onto me like he would die if he didn't. "I can't believe that I'm seeing you again. I missed you so much.." His body was shaking. I could feel it as I held onto him.

"Matt, I can't believe that I'm seeing you again." I said and then I pulled my head back and looked at him in the eye. _He remembers._ I thought with a sudden thing of joy. I gripped onto him tighter as I pulled his body closer to mine when I sat on the bed next to him. I felt the tears prick at my eyes, and some over flow, but this time they were of happiness. "I've missed you so fucking much. I'm so, so _sorry._"

"Mello, where am I, and what's going on?" Matt asked as he tried to pull awa but I held onto him for a few moments longer before letting go of him.

"Matt, you are in my room at a Mafia base."

"What?" Matt's eyes were so wide at that point and I couldn't help but give a small smile. "The mafia? What the hell is going on...? Mello?"

"You got, recruited per say." I said at last. "Apparently you were high off your head and some of the henchmen brought you in."

"Then why are you here...?"

"Matt," I caressed his face gently with a couple of my fingers. I wasn't wearing my gloves anymore, and the skin on skin contact sent shivers down my spine, " I'm the boss of this mafia branch." He was staring at me again with those wide eyes.

"You left for this? To be apart of the mafia?" I tried to pretend that I didn't see the hurt in his eyes, but I did. It was something that I didn't want to see.

"No, no, Matt... I-I..." I was searching for words. I didn't want to say the wrong thing and make him leave me this time. "I left because I had to avenge L, you know that. I didn't even think everything through when I left. The thought about using the mafia's resources came to me months after I left. Matt, I didn't _want_to leave you there."

"But you did." He said it so quietly that if I was any farther away from him I wouldn't have heard it, and I was pretty damn close to him.

"I had no _choice_." I said and I grabbed his hand, lacing his fingers with mine like we did when we were little kids. "I needed to keep _you_safe and I didn't now what I was going to do. I couldn't bring you into something that could get you hurt."

"It wasn't your choice to make. It was mine." He said as he looked at me straight in the eye. I was looking deep into those blue eyes that I had grown up with. The same eyes that always calmed me down when I needed it. Those blue eyes that I had grown to love, even before I left him, but I had pushed the feeling to the back of my mind. It only resurfaced when I thought of Matt for long periods of times.

"You could have gotten hurt." I protested. "And I wasn't going to risk that."

"It hurt me more knowing that you left me. Knowing that you were most likely playing with me." My eyes widened at that.

"I would _never _do anything like that to you! You were my best friend, and you still are."

"I didn't think you would have, but then the more I thought about it the more it made sense." I took him in as he spoke. I was shocked by the way he thought that. He was still skinny and he was still pale, but he was more pale than I remembered, from the drugs, I guessed.

"It doesn't make sense because I would never do something like that!"

"It made perfect sense." Matt said. "If you were playing with me then it wouldn't have been a problem leaving. You left without even a word. I had to hear it from Near. It only ma-" The words were lost as I pushed him back down onto the bed and placed my mouth over his.

I had always wanted to do that. I had always wanted to kiss Matt. I had dreamed of it so many times before, among some other things that I tried not to get too far into. At first I just did it to get him to shut up, but before I knew it I was moving my mouth against his. What really surprised me was that he was responding, moving his mouth back against mine.

When I pulled away I had to catch my breathe and I looked at him. His face had a pink tinge to it and he was just looking at me with those wide blue eyes filled with shock and his mouth gaping open.

"I would _never _play with you like that. I care about you too much." I said as I gripped his hand tighter.

"Mello..."

"You might have thought that, but it's not true. It never was, and it never will be true. I left you there for your own safety, and it was hell for me."

"Mello.."

"I couldn't stop thinking about you those first few months, and even after that. I tried to stop thinking about you but I couldn't. It just hurt so fucking much. It was worse than hell. I'm so, so sorry Matt."

"Mihael." His voice was stronger that time, it actually reached me. I stopped my blabbering and looked at him. "I guess it was worse than hell for the both of us." He gripped onto my hand just as tightly.

"No, Mail. It's not the same. I loved you and I still left you there alone." I said. I finally let it out. I couldn't turn back, not with this, not on him. I couldn't do that. Not again.

"You loved me?"

"Yes, dammit! I still do love you!" After that I was thinking that I was going to get a punch in the face, him calling me a hallucination again. I was not expecting him to tug me into a kiss that was full of passion and lust, which I eagerly returned.

"I love you too." He whispered when we broke apart and our foreheads were resting against each other. "I always have. That's why it hurt so much."

"How could I not love you? You're the most amazing person out there."

"No, I'm not." He said and I captured his lips in another kiss. I thought that he was, and that wasn't going to change. I finally had him back, and he was mine and he was going to stay that way.

I ran my tongue along his bottom lip, asking for the entrance that he soon granted, letting me explore his moist cavern with my own tongue. I was delighted when a moan rose out of his throat when I rubbed my tongue against his own. As our wet muscles tangled with each other I thought that this had to have been a dream, but I knew it wasn't. This was really happening, and I was grateful for it. I needed Matt. I always had and I always will.

When we broke apart I pushed him back so that I was over him and I pressed my forehead back against his. I just stayed like that for a few minutes just looking into his eyes as he looked back into mine. He was the only person that I would be gentle with, be kind to. I looked up and glared at the door when someone started pounding on it. I was hoping that they could feel the glare through the door.

"Hey, Mello! Get out here! We need help figuring out ho-" The mans voice was cut off as I yelled back at him.

"I don't give a damn what you need! Just leave me alone and figure it out yourselves!" I growled as I heard shuffling at the door and I was glad when he left. At the moment I didn't care who it was. Later, on the other hand, I would find out, and he would get shot.

"Your temper is still the same." I heard a murmur and I looked back down at the red-head that was under me. I shrugged, letting the comment go as I moved closer to him again and rested my forehead against his.

"I'm glad that you remember me, Mail." He just continued to look at me with those eyes.

"Why wouldn't I remember you? I could never forget someone like you." He said as he raised his head to give me another short kiss on the lips.

"The way that you were talking when those drugs were affecting you." I said gently as I touched my fingers to his face and ran them through his hair. "You kept calling me a hallucination, saying that I wasn't real."

"I'm sorry about that Mello... If I had known what I was saying I wouldn't have said it." Those words made me think a little bit more on the subject. I had just assumed Matt didn't know what he was saying, but what if...

"Matt, did you know what you were saying? Did you know what was going on?"

"No." He said. "I mean, kind of. I didn't know what was going on, but I did know what I was saying. I just thought that I was dreaming again. That's why I said what I did. I couldn't believe that it was actually you because if it was a dream then I would be in more pain."

"Were those drugs really effecting you?"

"Yes, and they still are, just not as much. Apparently they were in my new pack of cigarettes that I had just got."

"You really missed me so much as to dream about me?"

"Of course." He murmured as I moved to sit up so that I was just straddling his waist. "You were my best friend and I loved you then too. You were the only person that really ever actually cared about me. For who I was and not just for my hacking skills."

"Matt, I'm truly sorry that I left you there." I said again. I couldn't stop saying those words. It was like I was making up for lost time. Deep inside I knew that I was. I was making up for lost time, for all the guilt that I felt over leaving Matt there years ago.

Before he could answer I crashed my lips down onto his again, and he let me in immediately. I rubbed my tongue against his sensually, getting a moan from him in return. I could feel his hands on my lower back and it felt wonderful. I pulled back after a few minutes, my hands had fisted themselves in his red hair.

I slipped my vest off before attacking his mouth again. I was planning on him being mine, just like he always used to be, even if it was never a given that he was. Now it was going to be. He was going to be mine forever and always. As I moved down to his neck with my kisses I heard him moan as I slipped my hands underneath his striped shirt. I let my hands roam across his chest and I was sure he knew where I was going with this because when we pulled back for air he pushed himself up with his elbows and lifted his shirt up over his head.

I took in his bare chest before I started to nip down his chest, feeling more and more aroused when he kept letting out low, strangled moans; almost as if he was trying to keep them quiet so nobody else would here. I wanted him to be as vocal as he wanted, to hell with everyone that heard. If they didn't like it then they can just go away. He kept squirming underneath me, almost as if he was uncomfortable, but I knew that he wanted this just as much as I did. I could feel the bulge in his jeans pressing against my thigh. I knew that he did, but a part of me wanted to make sure that he was verbally. His mind might be weak right now, but I knew that he knew what was going on, what he wanted.

"Matt, do you want what I want?" I asked as I looked at him and I shivered as I felt his hands traveling over my bare chest.

"Yeah. I do." He said and I just noticed that he had removed the goggles that were hanging around his neck and had placed them on the table next to the bed.

"Good." I said as I nipped and sucked at his neck, just next to his jugular, leaving a red mark and making him let out another low, sensual moan. "Be as vocal as you want. I want to hear you." I said as I cupped him through his jeans, making him give another moan, but it was louder this time.

"Mello... I've never done this before.." Matt said in between pants as I started to rub him through his jeans and boxers. I didn't want to rush things with him, I wanted this to be special. For my first time, and, as he just said, his first time as well.

"Don't worry, Matt. Neither have I." I said and I gave him another passionate kiss before pulling back again, the look on his face sent shivers down my spine and sent a jolt straight to my groin. "But trust me, this will feel good. I'm going to make sure of it." He nodded and then let out a small whimper as I got off of him so that I could unlace and remove my pants. I gave him a small smile as understanding dawned in his eyes and he arched up so that he could remove his own pants, leaving him in just his boxers.

Of course, I wasn't wearing boxers. I really couldn't, with the leather pants that I wore I had no choice but to go commando. Not that I really ever complained about it, and I certainly wasn't going to complain now. Not when I had a sexy red-head in my bed, staring at me with lust filled orbs. I licked my lips when I took in the form of my best friend, my love. His red hair was starting to stick to his face with sweat and he was flushed, then there was the very prominent arousal that I could see straining at his boxers.

I crawled back over to him and I grabbed his boxers and pulled them down before he could think about what I was doing. I took in the sight of his fully erect member before I ran a hand up and down the shaft a couple minutes, happiness spreading through me when I felt the red-head shiver as I crawled back over him.

I grabbed his arms and pinned them over his head as I brought him into another long kiss as I ground my hips against his, making our members rub together, creating a wonderful friction that had us both moaning in the shear pleasure of it. I released his wrists when his tongue invaded my mouth and wrapped itself around my tongue. We would be in need of air soon, but at the moment I didn't care. All I cared about was the teen underneath me.

When we broke apart the only thing connecting us was a string of saliva coming from his mouth and ending in mine. I raised my hand up to his mouth and he took in three fingers and started to suck on them slowly, swirling his lips around mine. The feeling of that tongue working on those fingers made me think about what it would feel like somewhere else.

When I withdrew my fingers from his mouth they were thickly coated in saliva, which was good. I didn't have any actual lube, as I never thought this would happen, and I wanted to make sure that he didn't receive too much pain from this. As I moved my hand lower he spread his legs farther apart to give me better access, which I was indeed grateful for.

I looked up and met his eyes again and I gave him another kiss as I slipped a finger into his heat. He let out a gasp into my mouth, I felt his muscles clench at the intrusion and his eyes were wide. I assumed it was uncomfortable, but it would get better soon. I broke the kiss and looked at him.

"Mail...You need to relax. Alright? It will be fine. I promise." I felt his muscles unclench as I thrusted into him with my finger a few times. He nodded, and I was glad that my words seemed to reassure him.

"Alright." He said and then squirmed a little as I added the next digit. I started to stretch him slowly as I thrusted my fingers in and out of his heat, trying to find that special spot in him. As soon as I found it he shouldn't be in as much pain. It would just be pleasure through the whole thing. That's how I wanted it. I didn't want to cause him anymore pain than I already had in life. Especially not during this.

As I added the third and final finger into him he let out a small cry of pain, and I could tell that he was doing his best to stay relaxed and not to tighten around my fingers. After a couple moments of thrusting and stretching him he arched his back forward into my chest, letting out a moan that was all pleasure.

"Right there!" He cried out and I smiled as I continued to stretch him and thrust into that spot with my fingers at the same time. I might have found his spot, but I was a lot bigger than three fingers and I didn't want him to be in too much pain from all this. After a couple more moments of stretching him I removed my fingers, gaining a small whimper of loss from the red head.I spit in my hand so that I could wet my member down before positioning myself at his entrance.

"You ready, Matt?" I asked as I looked down at the flushed teenager. He nodded and wrapped his arms around my neck, pressing his face into the crook of my neck.

"Just, do it..." He said. The feeling of his lips against my neck felt wonderful, and the sound of his muffled voice sent my mind into overdrive. I didn't need to be told twice and I pushed myself slowly into him until I was fully sheathed. I stopped moving to let him adjust to my length that was buried deep inside him. I was about to ask him if he was okay when he moved his head closer to my ear and said sharply, and full of lust. "Move. Mihael, move."

"Of course." I grunted as I thrusted into him. I started out slowly, but gradually gained speed in my thrusts. After about the fifth thrust I hit that bundle of nerves inside him, making him arch himself against me and moan even loud. I smirked and continued to aim at that spot with my thrusts. The more I hit that spot, the more he moaned, the more he moaned, the harder I thrusted into him. It was like a pattern. A very enjoyable pattern.

I moaned as he scratched at my back as I thrusted into him again and I brought him into another kiss as we rocked back and forth. It felt so good to be inside him, to hear him moaning – moaning my name nonetheless – and to finally have the right to call him mine, even when I thought that I had the right to do so before.

At first all that filled the room was the mixed voices of our moans and our pants, and that's the way it was now, but now it was getting louder, the room filling with cries of pleasure coming from the both of us as our sweat covered bodies worked against each other like they were meant to do just that.

"Ah! Mello, I-I'm close-ah!" Matt managed to get out through his pants and I glanced down at him to see that his head was thrown back as he arched his body into mine and his eyes were closed in pleasure. His mouth was gaping open as he let out short, quick pants.

I moved my hand down to his member, feeling his walls start to tense up, and I started to pump his length that already had some pre-cum leaking from it. I felt myself getting closer and closer to the edge the farther that he got, but I told myself that I wasn't going to let go before he did.

"MIHAEL!" Matt screamed as I hit his prostate with a very hard thrust with complete accuracy, making him spill his seed all over both of our chests and my hand. The feeling of his walls clenched around my throbbing cock sent me over the edge just a split second after him.

"MAIL!" I screamed and I gripped onto him harder as I buried my head into his bright red hair as we rode out our orgasms together. After a few minutes I pulled out of him and rolled over so that I was laying next to him, with him cradled to my chest.

"I love you, Mihael..." He said as he nuzzled his face into my chest. He sounded drowsy, which was no surprise considering everything that's happened today.

"I love you to, Mail." I said and ran my fingers through his hair. "Just, get some rest. I will still be here when you wake up."

"Alright, and Mihael?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad that you aren't a hallucination." Those were his final words before he drifted off into sleep, curled up against me.

I just laid there for a while, just staring at my red-headed lover as he slept. It was like a trance that was holding me, like an addiction and he was my drug. Reluctantly I forced my eyes away from him and made my way out of bed without waking him, which I doubted anything could at the moment, and got dressed after having a very quick shower.

Before I left the room I walked back over to the bed and grabbed the gun that was on the table next to it, before shooting another look at the red-head. He looked peaceful, completely different from what he looked like earlier. That's when I had a thought. Matt _couldn't_stay here. He couldn't. So instead of leaving the room as originally intended I got on my laptop and searched some things.

When I didn't find what I wanted I got up from my seat before leaving the room. I walked into the main room again to see Rod still there and at least his whores were gone. A couple of the other members of the mafia were in the room, but the rest had retreated to their rooms. Which I was grateful for. I didn't want to have to deal with those idiots tonight.

"He's not joining." I stated as I walked closer to Rod, who had been talking with Lucas. They both looked at me. Lucas looked simply shocked while the older man just looked intrigued.

"Why not?" He asked.

"He's just not. Too delicate. He would break far too quickly."

"Are we going to kill him then?"

"No. We aren't." I said and this time he did get a look of surprise on his face.

"Why not? He could tell somebody."

"He won't." I said with a sigh of annoyance. "He's too hyped up on drugs to remember anything at the moment. For the simple fact that I don't feel like wasting a bullet on a junkie that looks small enough for me to break in half like a twig we are going to just take him home." I looked at the younger brunette. "Was he near any vehicle when you picked him up? Or did he have anything on him to say where he lived?"

"M-maybe." He said. "We had seen a red car parked on the next street over, and I know that Hidashi took something out of his jeans, I think they were keys to something, but I don't know what." _Of course that idiot had something to do with it._I thought and sighed as I turned out to go back to my room. I walked quickly down the halls, quicker than I normally did.

As soon as I walked in I looked at the sleeping red-head who hadn't moved an inch. I looked around until I found what I wanted. I picked up his pants and took out his wallet, which I was relieved to find still there. I nodded as I looked at his I.D., memorizing everything it said, before putting it back where it was originally.

I walked out into the hall again and then down the hall before I stopped in front of a certain door. I didn't bother to knock, why should I? When they all listen to me I don't have to do shit.

"You." I pointed at the man leaning against the wall with a piece of paper in his hand. "You are going to be doing something for me. Now."

Hidashi just looked at me in confusion. I might have said that he was smarter than the rest of the fools here, but he was still stupid. He just nodded and slipped the piece of paper into his pocket before following me as I led the way out f his room.

I hated to say it, but, no matter how much he reminded me of Near, he was the only one I could trust to help me with this. I needed him to show me where that car was. I knew that he wouldn't do anything against me. He couldn't. If he told anyone about Matt, then I would tell everyone something personal in his life.

* * *

><p>~Matt~<p>

I groaned as I opened my eyes to see that the digital clock beside my bed read _'10:36 AM'_. I was just about to close my eyes and go back to sleep when I bolted into a seating position. I had just remembered what had taken place last night, or at least what I thought had taken place last night.

I looked around to find myself in my apartment, in my bed, but how had I gotten there? Was everything that happened last night just a dream? I looked down at my legs. I was wearing my jeans again but I wasn't wearing my shirt. I sighed when I realized there was a good chance that it never happened.

I swung my legs over the side of my bed and I winced slightly as I felt a pain in my backside. Either I had slept wrong on it, was wasted last night and got fucked by some random person, or it actually happened like I thought it did. It couldn't have been the latter though. I was in my apartment and by myself. I hadn't actually met with Mello last night. I hadn't actually confessed my feelings that I had kept hidden for years. I certainly hadn't had sex with Mello. I sighed and rested my elbows on my knees.

"Why are you acting so upset?" That voice sounded so familiar. I had heard it... I had heard it last night when I was with the blonde... I looked up to see that it indeed was Mello that had just walked into the room. I smiled. I thought that it was all a dream, but it wasn't. Mello was back. For good, right?

"No reason." I said, lying easily but then I remembered that I wasn't wearing my goggles so he could probably tell. He walked closer to me, holding my eyes with his own, even as he sat right next to me.

"Don't lie." He said sternly, but gently. "What's wrong."

"I thought it was a dream." I said with a sigh. I couldn't lie to him. "I thought that none of what happened last night was actually real."

"Well, it wasn't." He said with a smirk as he pulled me into a rough kiss. When we broke apart he smirked at me in a cocky manner. "I told you last night that I wasn't a damn hallucination."

"That's good to know." I said with a smile as I looked at him. "How did I get here? I don't remember telling you where I lived."

"I looked at your I.D. Then I had Hidashi take me to your car so I could take it home with us." He replied with a shrug. "I didn't think you would want to stay in the hideout. There wouldn't be any privacy there for us."

"Does that mean you're staying?" I asked hopefully. He gave me this look.

"Of course I am, you idiot!" He said indignantly. "I didn't go telling you all that last night to just walk out on you again. It cost me enough pain the first time. It cost both of us enough pain last time. It's never going to happen again." He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. "Besides, you're mine and I have to make sure that it stays that way." His voice was laced with something that was almost predatory.

"I've always been yours'." I said.

"Well, now I can finally show it." He said as he pulled back, only to move forward again. "And, Matt, don't ever call me a hallucination again." He pulled me into another kiss.

"I wasn't planning on it." I said meekly when he broke the kiss and moved so that he was sitting on me.

"Good." He stated as he fisted a hand into my hair and pushed me down as he forced me into another kiss that had me melting against him. _If this was what I get, then I guess I might have to take that chance._ I thought as I felt his tongue exploring my mouth.

* * *

><p><strong>So, how did you all like it? Especially you, jrlrock?<strong>

**I have another lemon between them on the way! So, stay tuned! **

**Would any of you mind leaving a review? If so, I might just write the lemon faster. ;) **


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